how it is to be me as an earthworm:
a quiet manifesto of music, improvised
"is it alive? is it sentient? does it know we are sentient?"
i'm not convinced that rocks and mountains aren't 'alive'
just on a very different time scale than us
i was fascinated with forests when i was little
we lived in Alaska
and as we drove past them i would always say -
"ooooh - the deep woods!"
they are alive
i still feel that way
i mean with a consciousness
i really love animistic cultures
Japanese Shintoism has it, deep down
it's there in Iceland and Ireland, beneath the Christian imperial
Nature is bigger than us! we live in/on/because of it!
there was something about the trees being a place where you could leave and pick up
communications - in eastern Europe
there's a tree off the highway in the middle of nowhere in Nevada
between here and Boise
it's covered in shoes
it's weird, these depressing articles about environmental decline don't actually depress me
the current misery and human suffering are worse
although i do feel bad for the fish and birds and turtles that live and die by this plastic
yet the juggernaut keeps rolling
i guess the world has already started ending
or the human ascendancy anyway
and with the mess we've been making of it for the past 10000s years
i can't feel too bad about that
i had a moment walking up the stairs to the apartment this morning
of feeling very keenly how weird it is to be alive!
having this particular consciousness tied to this body
so ... random
the limitations of my experience, my perspective
i can see why people want it to repeat - to make some sense of it
the peculiarities and how attached i get to them
but the whole question of why
isn't it a 2-year-old's question?
there is no why
it just is
why do we need why?
or at least an Ultimate Why
that sounds like an Enlightenment problem
the rationalising of the world
whereby we start to worship explanations, including science
but maybe we didn't always need that
maybe we can therefore move past it
it can lead to the illusion of control
i think it props up a certain kind of individualism
which is no longer serving us
a very addictive illusion
but how can we usurp it?
i honestly think that improvising
if it's good
not like i want to go chop off my limbs to prove that my boundaries are constructed and not real
improvising and site-specific work can do it
that's what i typed
if it's good
and maybe this is the ultimate goal?
to feel something other than just ourselves
feel those trees over there or something
that train track
i guess it can be scary, fuzzy boundaries
where am i, where are you? what if i get lost?
i always feel much healthier mentally
and like i can handle whatever comes along
i once had a vision
of how it is to be an earthworm
it was very comfy
it was still me, but in the form of an earthworm
our chat should be a manifesto
don't erase it
"how it is to be me as an earthworm"
that's a good title of something
we could call it that, yes
but it would include our thoughts on how we've outgrown rationalisation
and being anthropocentric
and the way out
the way out is to feel yourself to be an earthworm
and play from there
musical practice as meditative practice
except that sentence already sounds too cliched
yeah keep meditating out of it
and keep "one" out of it
one as in "we are all one"
as in unified
because it's not about having no boundaries
just permeable ones
hippies and Star Wars <sigh>
i think it's an exit strategy
people mean well
to the current situation
the current impossible world situation
they do, yes
i think we should always suspect people of doing their best until they prove that wrong
right, where people seem to think that shooting other people
and having more money will help
stave off death?
and blame the system of thought - the system of economy - the system of politics
they are only seeing themselves
like ultimate, Self as Ultimate
but death is just the end of this particular consciousness, this perspective
i feel that we should have some nice sine waves going in the background now
my fridge is doing a good job of that right now
yes and we aim to make Self the Provisional
Make the Self Provisional!
yeah i have the radio coming through the headphones and a fly and a seagull in the distance
Making the Self Provisional
see - why can't THAT be my thesis?
the funny thing is that
i think many "oppressed peoples" already have this capability
it's the dominators that seem to have/need these strict boundaries
i blame testosterone and male socialisation
i blame Sir Francis Drake and other such explorers
discover and conquer! for the queen!
i would like to be a quiet voice
i'm fine being local in my influence
local and etherial
the butterfly wing thing
i know - it's fun
it feels very
i feel i am glowing or something